your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
