she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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