i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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