I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think i have two assholes
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
