2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm sobbing to NWA
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize