last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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