Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
