i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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