I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
