I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
