everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
