i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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