I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
