I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize