I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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