to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize