I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I think i got beer on your cat.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
