i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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