Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
