Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
third nipple confirmed
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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