Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
