I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
