i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
