We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
