If that was your dad, he is hot
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
