I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
