I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
