Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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