barbara walters just said penis...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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