i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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