i don't like sucking hair
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
