we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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