Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
