i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize