I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
