just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
