I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
