So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
