I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
