I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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