Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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