Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
