it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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