this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
