Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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