making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
