Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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