your thong is hanging out like whoa
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he shaved USA in his pubs
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
