some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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