Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
