Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just google imaged poop.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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