It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
