no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
