his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize