I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
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