oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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