No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
